, , , Relationship Balance: Why We Need Equals in Our Lives

Relationship balance is something that too often we choose to ignore in our lives. There is an old saying my mother used to say, “Show me who your friends are and I’ll tell you what kind of person you are.”img_2820-bw

Well when she would tell me that, I didn’t quite understand what and how that meant, until I got older. I meet people that say, “I feel stuck and I don’t know why.” I say to them, “Look around. I bet it’s the people you surround yourself with that bring you down. The negative energy they bring to you.”

We need equals in our lives and need to achieve relationship balance because surrounding ourselves with people that we can learn from, or people that motivate us, or people that just bring out the best in ourselves is really key to having a happy and successful life. There are people that come in our lives for a reason, but the question is, “What do we learn from them?”

Achieving Relationship Balance 

When is it not okay to continue on with the relationship? How a person makes us feel or what they can make us do can be a huge disservice to ourselves. The fact is you should be choosey in who you allow in your space and around your daily life. People who are not happy will never make you happy.

When choosing your life partner, your partner should be your equal or above you. If you have to go ten steps backwards, stay single until you find the person that’s worthy of you.  Do not settle! When you separate yourself from negative relationships is when you grow; then you start to thrive. The more successful or higher you move throughout your life, the more protective you have to be with your space.

I always say, “If you have one good friend with the right qualities, then you are truly blessed.” Having twenty friends, but who are shallow, are not your friends. Understanding your growth level is key to your success in life but most of all your happiness. Looking back, I now have a deeper understanding of what my mother would say.

Equals in our lives really are key to a much more productive and happy life.
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Spiritual Disconnect: Rediscovering Self

Are you experiencing a spiritual disconnect? Have you forgotten to laugh? To feel? To do things that you connect with? I meet so many people that suffer from depression but why are they depressed? Going to the doctor and taking a pill is a quick fix but will that really resolve what’s ailing you? I like to try to find out why and there is always a why.

Paying attention to your spirit is usually what most people don’t do for themselves. We are always worried to please others but once we concentrate on others and forget ourselves is when we are starving our spirit. When you stop doing what you love, you are coming up “emotionally bankrupt” resulting in a spiritual disconnect. Forgetting what pleasured you in the past because of all the “stuff” of everyday life or trying to please your spouse, your kids or boss creates a sense of anxiety and loss of self.  Losing yourself in the end is when the depression starts to set in.

If you are a nature person or a person who needs to be near water or you like to paint, to garden, or like the quiet of a small town and need time to yourself, loves music or loves to be with your animals, then you must start to get in touch with your spirit. When you do this, then you revive your spirit and that’s when your body starts to heal itself. To be happy starts with yourself first. When you choose to pay attention that’s when things start to become clearer. Doing things for people has its place but when you deprive yourself you disconnect with your spirit and that’s when your soul suffers. The key is to not let yourself become something you’re not.

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Timing: Is It Really Everything in Life?

I want to talk about timing and what effect it has on our lives. Did you ever meet someone and hit it off and start to talk about your younger days and where you’ve hung out?  Then you discovered that person
went to the same places and hung out with the same people as you but the two of you have never met. It wasn’t meant for you to meet until now.  That’s timing.

I’ve met people who went to the same high school together and much later in life their paths have crossed and they started dating and ended up marrying each other. But why didn’t they marry when they were much younger? Again it’s the timing.

Timing in Life Creates Life Lessons

The purpose to come together is when you both are ready. If you came together when you were younger it would not have worked out. There are reasons why people come into our lives when they do. For every good and even bad person we come to meet, they are there for a reason. Sometimes we are blessed with lasting relationships, other times we meet a nice person we can call a friend and then they slip out of our lives.  That’s because their mission was done. The same goes for someone who has been an enemy and there is purpose for them as well such as meeting someone nice through that person.

Everything is a learning lesson and the timing is crucial. There is a purpose for whomever comes into our lives, and it’s when you are ready for good, or bad to enjoy, to learn and to teach. I knew someone through a good friend but we were very distant through the years, just acquaintances. One day she encountered tragedy and that tragedy brought us together. She didn’t understand why this happened and couldn’t cope. Through her ordeal she started to grow in her thinking and how she looked at different instances. She was ready to connect to me on a level that earlier she would never understand.

People are in our lives for many reasons so the next time someone who may be in our life now, that makes no sense, remember it’s all on what you learn and the timing of it all and what it can bring later. What we are not ready for earlier, experience has made us ready for later. Every relationship we encounter is never a waste. We may not know the answers at that time but life has a way to invite the timing when it is needed.

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Moving Forward Best Option When Going Gets Tough

There’s nothing to be done but keep moving forward when the going gets tough.  I rarely talk about the tragedies in my life, but, I have experienced my share. My husband and I have a wonderful daughter who recently turned 23.  When I reflect from the time she was born until today, it’s been quite a ride. When our daughter was 6 years old, she was diagnosed with verbal Autism, Autism? I had heard of it, but didn’t quite understand what that meant. Through the years we had countless therapies, various schools, special diets, and  far too much to list. I won’t go through what my husband and I went through but I want to talk about the feelings you go through when a monkey wrench is thrown into your daily life.

I remember when I got the news from the Audiologist that my daughter has Autism, I sat quietly and listened to the doctor, asked my questions, and left her office very puzzled. Now I could have been angry, or fallen into a depression, or even said why me? But I chose to fight, and find out everything there was to understand about Autism. I began to go into Operation Rescue Alex. I chose to be happy and help my child to the fullest. I got moving with my life. I refused to see myself as the victim.  You can choose how you see a scenario and choose how you will handle it. When I would look at my daughter, I saw a beautiful child, and today she has grown into a beautiful adult.

To me, it didn’t matter what the outcome would have been for our daughter; you have to love purely, and unconditionally, and keep moving forward. I always saw my daughter as perfect. When you see the positive, positive does return to you. Obstacles do come into everyone’s lives, but the key is Choice.  You can choose to let it drag you down and make you a bitter person, or you can get moving again. My husband and I have always chosen to keep moving forward. It’s not what you’re dealt with but rather how you choose to handle it.

That is the real lesson in our life time!

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Learn to Trust Your Life Journey

In the quest to discover and understand our life journey, we focus on the dreams and expectations for our lives.  However, you’ve heard of the saying, “We make plans and God laughs.”

A friend of mine posted this today on Facebook, “Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

What happens when everything we work so hard for doesn’t materialize? Don’t despair, do not question. It has always been obvious that sometimes what we should be doing is right under our nose, or what we are doing is not where we’re meant to be heading. And when that happens our life journey takes a different turn for the greater picture.

 The tricky part is when that happens we get mad and we don’t understand, or we think “I did everything right and it still hasn’t happened.” Sometimes it’s hard to see the big picture. When a client comes to see me, the struggle one has with one’s self is what needs to be worked on. And most of the time clients don’t know why and can’t move forward, they are stuck in neutral.

There are reasons and they are right under our nose and for others they keep hitting that brick wall. To understand life’s journey sometimes comes in stages. The bottom line is, when an obstacle comes your way don’t look for the excuse to give up, look deeper.

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Journey of the Soul Focuses on Love, Kindness

What is the journey of the soul after leaving here and crossing over? I am often asked, “What happens to people’s souls when they have behaved badly here on earth?” It depends on what each of us is here to learn. We all have our particular life’s mission, so when we have parents or members of our family that don’t treat us well, know that we signed up for this mission. As the old saying goes, “We can’t pick our family.”  Guess again. We do.

The big question is why? One reason is to give that parent or child a chance for self-growth. To step up to the plate or for us to experience what it’s like to be mistreated. The journey of the soul requires experiencing full circle every feeling and what that feels like for our soul. When I’m doing a reading, people’s loved ones come through, and for some their message is truly one of remorse and feeling so sorry for the pain they have caused. There is no pay back on the other side, but a chance to do it again, full throttle and to fully understand. I often say God gets a bad rap. He is not in the habit of punishing us, but to give our souls as many chances as one needs to improve our souls in each lifetime. It’s to learn and be as close to being God-like as possible.

In the end the soul’s mission, the true journey of the soul is always about love and kindness. After crossing over, the first thing we will learn is to experience every feeling– good or bad– what we had done to others on earth, to experience what we have done to them. To truly experience all of the pain and joy we have caused, to understand fully the serious wrongs they had bestowed to someone on earth.  Once that is understood we have peace, love, and forgiveness. There is so more anger; here we carry so much grudge, anger and discomfort.

Upon crossing over, it’s all about love, peace and true understanding. Here we carry our suitcase and it’s filled and overfilled with heavy baggage, of horrible emotions, anxieties, guilt, sadness and regret. We carry this around our whole life. What I try to tell my clients is it’s time to unpack. Once we cross over, our souls not only see but feel the tranquil calm of divine peace and love. There is no more baggage on the other side; there is only tranquil peace!

It’s not the task that’s given, but how you handle the task.

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